2/29/2004 08:33:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Well hi again world. Well it's been a great week and it just has been really good for me. Was it as good for me as it was for you? Well nevermind. At last I am now going into my sixth year with Vanny. Well many people think that we should get married soon, I also think so but Vanny still thinks that if she's still studying and also married at the same time, it could affect her eagerness to complete her study, so she was thinking maybe after she got graduated. Well I can be an understanding person you know, well I'll try to be understanding. .Anyway, yesterday we didn't get to do anything like weird and stuff, you know. We just decided that we would like an anniversary full of stories and just chat with each other with LOVE. You know what I'm saying, and we just ate dinner together and enjoy some laughter. It was another kind of fun, a love filled fun, hehehe I guess.... But today we had our photos taken. Well we went to this photo studio and just took about 10 shots but turns out that only six that was worth taking. Maybe in a few days I will show you world, is that OK with you. But Vanny also gave me a "postcard" that she made herself. It was cool cause it was hand drawn by her and all the stuffs inside it was also cool. I think I'll post it tommorrow OK. Bye for now, I'm really tired, just came home from church. Ok - What do you think - |W|P|107806177863711180|W|P|Here we go again......|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/28/2004 08:40:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Here's to my sweetheart, Ivana Moeliadji alias Vanny alias Phu-phu alias Phunneh. Phu-phu sayang, happy anniversary ya. Abang harap di tahun kelima ini kita bisa semakin lama semakin dewasa dalam berpikir dan bertindak, ga sembrono dan asal lagi. He...he...he...354 x Ab-ab makin sayang ama Phu-phu-na. Moga Phu-phu juga tetap sayang ma Ab-ab-na OK. Five years is not short but very long, if a child is five years old he will know lots of things already, learn rights and wrongs, dos and don'ts. Also what my friends and family likes and dislikes. So I guess we've known each other for that long and have created a special place in our hearts for each other. That's a very special thing and nobody can take it away from us. So let us continue this wonderful journey together and may our love last forever and ever. I thank You Lord for this day. I love you Phu-phu with all my heart and my soul. Lord please let us be together forever. Amen. - What do you think - |W|P|107793263562282669|W|P|It's my Anniversary World, U ought to know.......|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/27/2004 04:17:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Wooooiiiii everybody !!!!!!! Guess what tommorrow will be the D-day. The day we've all been waiting for. drumrolls please ....... drdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrddr tret tet tet eeeeng iiing eeeng. dhuaarrr. Yes everybody tommorrow will be my fifth anniversary with my lovely Vanny, or Phu-phu as I usually call her. Yep it's that time again when you refresh your memories and try to find whatever wrong with your lives together and find what went right and laugh about it, what was funny and maybe embarrassing. hahahahaha. that'll be fun wouldn't it. I couldn't believe that we made it to five. Cause you know what during these five years all kinds of trials come and go without hesitations. hehehehe. Cries and tears almost never stop. The first few months or maybe even more than a year went really "well" meaning that we were still hiding our true self, but as the years go we started to show our being. Yep it was ugly folks. As time goes by so does our trust for each other, she never trusted me with anyone nor does she ever trust me about anything but sooner she started to understand me. I also couldn't put my trust in her 100 % coz she was always doing this and that and with somebody else and stuff, it was hurting. During those early years we did wrongs that we truly regret doing now. We sinned as if it was important and yes we got hit by our own doing. We di stuff that we're noty supposed to do, and we regret it very much. But you may ask isn't God a forgiving Father, doesn't He forgive. Yes and Yes but also God hates sin and could never go along with it. That's why everytime you sin or I sinned than ther's gonna be and surely I say some consequences. Yep there's always a price that you must pay for those sins, and even the "little' ones. Because God is a fair judge and the wrongs will always be wrong and the truth vice versa will always be the truth and there's nothing you can do to make it not the truth. So take my word for it. Yeah, it's hard to understand especially if we don't wanna understand about these stuff. You never know until you experienced it. Once you can feel the consequences then you'll surely praise the Lord. Huh? stupid, you say? No, it's not stupid. If God still punish you for the wrong that you do then, God considers you His children and only His children that will be re-directed by our loving father. So I praise God when my consequences comes, not meaning that I do it all to get some price for my actions. But sometimes you forgot or didn't mean to do a no-no, but it's still wrong right? And when you get IT then you begin asking, what did I do wrong? well when you found the answer then you can never not praise God for everything. Anyway, as the years go by we learned some new things that we practised now in our lives and new knowledge that we never knew existed or never even felt before. These knowledge brings us into a deeper understanding of our loving father not to mention a deeper understanding of each other. These brought us deeper together and have the "same" mind and thoughts even the same view (?) in life. . Thank You Lord for guiding us all these years. Can never have done it without you. Phu-phu I love you more and more and deeper by the day. Love you honey - What do you think - |W|P|107787366523301546|W|P|ooohhh..... Five Years tommorrow......|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/25/2004 08:31:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Been thinking, why have I been so lazy lately? I tell you something, I wasn't at all lazy before, but now sometimes I feel as if don't wanna do anything you know. seems like my whole life is in a cloudy day area you know what I mean. It feels so cloudy, I mean sometimes I can feel so great and do great stuff that God has equipped in me, but other times I just feel so tired and so not in the mood to do anything, sooo gloomy. But no c'mon I have to get over this, well I don't know I have to get over what but I must wake up and smeel the coffee. I want to stand tall and do my stuff. Hey, I was givent some talents by God so why waste it and make God angry, right. I mean if I was given a job that obligate me to design and draw shoes, then I do just that. You know sometimes I feel so not in the mood for doing my job, but sometimes all the ideas are just up in my head that I just couldn't stop thinking and drawing and designing without any rest. Well yesterday I started to learn a new software called 3DSMAX. It's cool 3 dimensional drawing software. Well I'm gonna use it to draw all my designs, but now I'm just still learning OK. Maybe if I have started drawing with 3D then I'll put some pics up for you to see, OK. It's so much better than just drawing with CorelDraw11 like I usually do. And I bet it'll be so much fun. HAHAhaha :) I feel so much better now, I feel radiant and full of ideas again, maybe today I'm gonna work afterall. I know why I sometimes not in the mood, I reckon it's because I haven't said hello to my Father yet. I forgot to pray just now. I came so early to the office and I started working, without talking to my Father yet. Father forgive me, I know that You don't like it when I ignore You. I'm gonna pray right now, then I'll start working again. Thankyou Father for Your guidance everyday. You never forsake me even if I sometimes ignore You. You are always You, who are always kind and affectionate, You always know what's going on in my life. You comfort me with Your loving care and guide me along the way. Never leave me Father, I love You Jesus. You know I feel sunny all over now. Thanks Father - What do you think - |W|P|107767551376256319|W|P|Good Morning Father|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/24/2004 12:47:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Well today I have put up some more stuffs in my site I put a prayer box, so anyone that wants to post up prayers for anything, maybe personal prayers, about something that's bugging them, or maybe something inside your mind that you just want to say out loud to the world. Maybe about your country which is in terrible danger or maybe needs more attention and prayer. I understand that prayer is such a powerful weapon to break down all the devil's power and influence in this world. Many people doesn't know anymore that they are really in great danger living in this world today. We seem to think that maybe because we are "alright" then it means that we should do nothing more. We may think sometimes that we don't have to go to battle against satan cause there are nothing going on. But that's just the way satan works by making us unaware that we are really floating away from the real situaton and making us feel as if nothing's goin' on. Preyer such power that is given to us by God to overcome and be as a weapon to fight against all the evil power that is ruling this world nowadays. God had said that through prayers we can make BIG changes that satan cannot undo. People are getting more and more aware about this power and they are using it. We can hear now how these power is being practised all throughout the world. Young and old are now taking personal time to pray for this world even 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year all year round. While so much more that doesn't know what they are doing and where their lives are going. People can be so ignorant that they don't wanna know that they are going the wrong way, some just so stubborn and others just don't wanna know. But the truth is always the truth whether we deny it or we accept it. You may deny it with all your life, may make up all these logics that say that it's untrue but I am telling you that it is and yes sometimes it's illogical. But then again if God is logical then God wouldn't be God just some concept that we make up in our minds about some special force and everything. But again the truth is always the truth, never could be changed, never will be changed, it last from forever until forever. I'd like to pray not only for my sake but for a lot of people out there that wants a help in prayer from me. Cause prayer should be something that we do everyday, every hour, every second of our life. All our lives should be a prayer. Thank you God for these special powers, let me use it according to your will. Love U always. - What do you think - |W|P|107760387430215945|W|P|Prayer... important or not?|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/21/2004 10:45:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|I'm soooooo dead tired today all I can think of is getting some sleep. Does anyone out there know why I get sooo lazy today. Is it because I can't sleep last night or maybe I couldn't sleep cause my bed is soooooo terible that it feels as if I'm sleeping on a rock. Yep, real cold hard rock. ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Ohh did I sleep while typing uuuuuhhhmmm, I'm sorry cause of that. I'm soooo tired that I can't even think. Yep, and you're right I am at the office. hehehehehe. I was thinking not to go to the office this morning, but no, I think to myself that if I don't get up I'm really gonna be in trouble. So I got up at around 7.30 and work starts at 8.00. That's right I was practically running in the shower, no breakfast, just straight to the office. But at the office my eyes just wouldn't let me wake. Yaaaaaaaaawn. Dead tired So I'll see you folks like next week OK. cause I wanna go to sleep at least throughout this weekend. Adios. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - What do you think -|W|P|1077335790446043|W|P|zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/20/2004 09:11:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Can anyone help me???? Well you see next week will be my 5th anniversary with Vanny. Yes, folks, it has been that long. So I was wondering what special thing can I give her. Well "give" here doesn't neccesarilly means gift but can also be a romantic dinner or something, but I guess we've done them already, roses are just given too many times on many occassions so wouldn't be too surprising if I got her those, huh. So I was thinking of maybe a specially planned event???? Or something wild, but funny and not too expensive. Something to remember for years to come. Something not formal but maybe rather casual. Anyone got any ideas??? Please help me by commenting below this post. Really appreciate it. You see I put this up so that I was thinking maybe you people, you wild and crazy people, just like me really, could have any ideas that they have in mind that I might take into considerations. Vanny has had lots of bad conditions these few weeks and I guess I just wanted to ease her mind a little bit and give her a surprise that she'll surely remember. To you ladies out there who are reading this post, you know better than me, what would you like your boyfriend to give to you or make for you on your 5th anniversary? Really, what'd you like him to do??? well just put this up so that I will be reminded of the day. Oh yeah if I haven't said it before, it's on the 28th Feb OK guys. Oh yeah for those of you who'd like to know how we got together, me and vanny visit my homepage under My Comical Story. - What do you think -|W|P|107728767317511845|W|P|Anyone care to help me? Please|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/20/2004 10:31:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Hahahaha, yesterday turned out to be a pretty fun day, well not day, it was a fun night actually. Well my boss told me to go to a product launching event thrown by Piero, our competitor. Well I wasn't there as an invitee, but rather as a :)) spy :)) hehee. That's right a spy. You see Piero is launching new styles for this year and are inviting stores from all over Jatim, Bali and Makassar. Well one of the stores that were invited were my boss's friend and said that if we'd like to see what it was like inside a Piero launching then we can send someone to go with him and meet him there. The event was held in Shangrila hotel, Surabaya. Well I was there soo early as in quarter to 6 and the launching starts at around 7 o'clock but I had to come early coz I don't really know the host that invited me and I only knew his name. After looking around for a bit, at last he found me and we went inside. Dinner starts with two people singing on the podium, quite good but probably I could sing just as good or even better. Hahahahaha what a "big head" huh. Anyway the food was nice but never really felt good on my stomach, especially the "chinese" way of eating, you know a dish at a time. After one dish is finished then the next dish comes and the whole table eats again after that chat again. Sometimes I just couldn't cope with this style cause probably I'm just used to eating The whole thing at once. Hhahaha Anyway after that.............the room shakes and the beat is in the air and there were those whatchamaacallit smoky thingy that fills the podium and out came the "beatles". hahahahaha as in project pop dressed as the beatles. They were wearing suits and sunglasses. They were funny though. They sang Twist and Shout. You know....."c'mon shake it baby, shake it baby......twist and shout, twist and shout......c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon baby now, c'mon baby........work it all out, work it all out". after that comes the ahhhh ahhhhh ahhhhh ahhhhh part and they took off all their suits. They changed songs in a medley into that Indonesian song, "disekolah yang kutunggu, kutunggu tiada yang datang". After that comes the aahhhh part again and they once again stripped until about 4 or 5 times. Coz under their pants are shorts and under their shorts were boxer shorts, and they had like three layers of clothing. And everytime they say aaahhh ahhhh ahhhha ahhhh they have to strip. The funny part is that Yossi had this boxer shorts that "showed" his bum, well fake bum actually. It was hillarious. LOL. And then comes Tika Panggabean singing "Menghitung Hari" as Krisdayanti and will not be called Tika. She was singing from table to table and entertaining us all. They sang a lot more songs though. It was nice. I had so much fun there. Unfortunately the other guests are not as entertained as myself cause they were OLD. hahahaha and I am probably one of the youngest among the adults there, coz there were also lots of little kids. Anyway I think to myself, how exciting it is to be entertained by these people. I mean I know that they are well paid entertainers. But again I think to myself, why can't I "entertain" my friends and the people around me. What I mean by entertain is that I can make them happy with what I do and just to see them smile should be great, right. Does God want me to make other people happy as God wants me to make God happy. I think that the answer is yes. So I think to myself, what are the qualities that those entertainers have that sometimes I'm not so eager to show other people. Well I found that maybe they have "brickface" as in they are prepared to be liked or maybe even humiliated by the people they are entertaining. So maybe sometimes this makes me stop making God happy or other people for that matter. I stopped cause I think what if they don't like me, what if they make fun of me. All I wanted was to make them happy but I am not prepared to be rejected. But God taught us to be a humble servant. What the master asks of us we must do without having to think what if I get rejected by others that I am serving. The second quality that I saw was that these entertainer are willing to share the happiness that they have and transfer it to the others. Maybe they weren't too happy at that time, maybe they also have some sort of troubles at home or other problems at work and stuff, but they want to hide all their burdens and give others the happy spirit that are flowing in them. This reminded me of myself. Sometimes when I feel sad, I want all people to notice and take care of me and make me happy again, but most of the time that same situations happen to someone else I don't wanna know. I just wanna be "entertained" but not "entertain" others. How selfish of me, huh. Also how willing am I to share the happiness that I know from following Christ and transfer what I feel to others too. How eager am I to speak about God's loving care and His mercy towards mankind. Thanks Lord for this lesson that I can take from these wonderful entertainers, maybe I can become an "entertainer" that glorifies Your name. - What do you think -|W|P|107725756856260542|W|P|To entertain or to be entertained...?|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/19/2004 12:54:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|I don't believe this. In this world there are parents who are so cruel to their children and will not or does not want to know what their children is having through. You don't believe me? My GF's dad and mom are just some of the people that I could not understand how their brains work. I am writing this cause I am kinda angry in fact very angry. My GF studies interior designs and I was an architecture student once so I know a little bit about designing, interior and exterior. Well her parents are just so not understanding about how or what their daughter is going through, in fact I think they don't wanna know. My GF is trying so hard to do the best in her study. But sometimes things at home makes it so difficult to focus on her work. Sorry If the next lines are written in Indonesian for some of you who dont understand. Keluarganya itu aneh banget. Papa dan mamanya itu sangat kaku dalam bergaul deh. Pikiran mereka, cara berpikirnya itu sangat ga sama dengan orang lain pada umumnya. Mereka berdua itu punya standard standar yang tak dapat dimengerti dari mana datangnya dan kadang tidak masuk dalam hitungan logis. ANEH pokoknya. Banyak aturan aturan yang diterapkan tapi juga ga diterapkan, ga konsisten gitu deh pokoknya. Mereka punya dua anak. The elder one is my GF dan yang lainnya adiknya laki. GFku itu sejak dari kecil di perlakukan sangat berbeda dengan adiknya sekarang. Bayangkan sejak GFku di kelas 2 sd itu sudah sering, kalo istilah orang Jawa disiwak, alias ga diomongin sampai 3 bulan. What kinda parent would do that to their 8 year old daughter. SICK. Seringkali diperlakukan ga adil tapi adiknya itu sampai sekarang (5 SD) ga pernah digituin. Kalo GFku minta duit sedikit aja untuk keperluan apa aja, ngomongnya ga punya duit dan nanti aja kalo kau udah kerja bisa beli sesukamu, bahkan kadang GFku itu hampir seharian ga makan karna dirumah ga ada makanan dan ga ada duit yang ditinggalkan sementara orang orang pada keluar semua. Emangnya orang sudah ga perlu makan? ANEH. tapi kalo adiknya mau makan apa saja kapan saja dan minta duit pasti diberi. What kinda fairness is this?... Waktu GFku tuh masih kecil dia berbuat sesuatu yang salah kadang bukan hanya ga diomongin tapi juga dikunci di kamar mandi dan ga dibukakan pintu dari pagi sampai sore ?????????? beginikah cara mendidik anak gaya baru? Tapi kalo adiknya itu salah mereka hanya bilang jangan gitu dan bila adiknya marah dan mencak mencak, mereka hanya bisa diam. Bahkan adiknya itu sangat bisa memerintah kedua orangtuanya, bisa dibayangkan betapa MONSTER yang terjadi!!!!! Anak kelas 5 SD bisa memerintah orangtuanya dan kalo mereka ga mau dia akan marah dan banting banting pintu atau mengunci orang didalam atau diluar pintu dan there has never been anything done about it. DON"T YOU JUST WANT TO SCREAMMM AT THIS UNFAIRNESS. Besok itu GFku akan menghadapi ujian yang menentukan mati hidupnya di kuliahan karena kalo ga lulus pasti dia bakalan di drop out. Tapi bagaimana tanggapan kedua orangtuanya mereka malah memarahi dia untuk sesuatu yang ga jelas, bukan tentang hal ini sih tapi ada hal lain yang sepele tapi bisa memicu amarah mereka. Aku dan GFku ga tau sebenarnya mereka marah tentang apa, mengapa dan bagaimana bisa meredakannya. Mereka ga ngomongin lagi GFku hari ini. Bayangkan kita mo ngajak ngomong tapi ga dijawab, mo pamitan pulang atau ke kampus tak ada jawaban. Hari ini GFku dijemput dari kampus dan sesampainya dirumah tanpa omongan apapun di tengah jalan, hanya diserahin kunci tanpa omongan dan ketika GFku sudah diluar mobil mereka pergi ga bilang mo kemana, sampai jam berapa, ga ada komunikasi. GFku hanya bisa nangis, mana mo ujian dan belajar untuk besok.. Gimana orang bisa belajar dengan kondisi hati yang seperti itu, bahkan kita ga tau apa yang kita perbuat salah.......TOLONG TUHAN. Bukannya kita ga pernah mo cari tahu penyebabnya, tapi mereka ga pernah bisa terbuka terhadap semuanya. KAKU. Mereka juga sangat ga bisa dibilangi. KERAS KEPALA dan sangat mementingkan diri sendiri. Mereka selalu berpikir negatif dulu sebelum sesuatu terjadi dan hal itu jadi terimbas pada GFku. Jadi kalo ada orang lain jangan dipercaya dulu, curigailah orang lain sebelum mereka melakukan apapun yang dapat merugikan kamu, mungkin begitu motto hidup mereka. Mak mereka memang ga pernah mempercayai orang, not me especially. I don't know what else is there that I can do to get their trust, tapi kelihatannya mereka biasa saja tapi kalo udah keluar semuanya sangat childish sekali dan kalo sudah bilang A ga akan ada orang lain yang bisa mengconvert dia untuk bilang B. pengalaman pengalaman yang pernah terjadi padanya akan diingat terus dan akan dijadikan sebagai pembanding dalam setiap masalah. Misalnya kalo orang Madura pernah berbuat curang sama mereka maka semua orang Madura akan dicap sebagai orang curang, tanpa melihat orangnya. Kalo orang Batak yang pernah dikenalnya walaupun cuma satu atau dua itu suka selingkuh atau memukul istri maka semua orang Batak adalah sama, ga ada yang berbeda. Tolong Tuhan ampuni aku, please forgive me karna udah nulis ini di sini, but I am so mad at them and there's nothing else I could do. Lord I know You are always by my side and by my GF's side. Please give us strength to stand this all. We cannot make them change Lord, I can't make them change nor my GF Lord. But You have the power and the glory and the strength to put things in order again. To mend broken hearts, to erase all hatred, for us to start forgiving even though it's very difficult Lord. Please tell me what to do and please light my GF's parents heart so they could see You Lord, the Almighty God. Thank You Lord this is my prayer. Teach me Your way ooh Lord that I may pray for them. You are the best Lord. My heart is starting to sooth Lord, Thank You Jesus. - What do you think -|W|P|107717337084895838|W|P|...I don't believe this.... Total unfairness.....|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/18/2004 11:13:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Yesterday, I had two grown up ladies asked me well actually we chatted about relationships. One was a friend of mine. Well she had a classic problem of love. You see she's at the moment in love with this great guy (according to her, cause I don't really know him), but the problem is that this guy doesn't have the same belief as her, as a matter of saying the have different religions. Well she was confused because she hadn't had a relationships in a long time and as she was studying at her uni, she befriended this guy cause he's in her class and it goes on and on until they don't realize that love is actually in the air. Well at that moment they couldn't deny their feelings but they both know that it will be so difficult to go on with their difference still in tact. Her parents called her the other day and asked about if she's in a relationships lately, cause you know her age is not so young anymore and probably the parents wants her to get married soon. She couldn't tell them cause she knew it would hurt their feelings and maybe make them ill. Yesterday she told me about it and she said should I make him a "believer" and make him choose between me or his religions. I said why would you do that? Would you leave yours for his? She said no, I said then probably the same goes for him too. She said then why is God making me have to go through this experience. Why didn't God just gave me a person with the same belief or just not make me close to him so I don't have to love him. At the moment he's just so perfect for me, he can understand me, knows how I feel and we're just so right for each other, then why can't I have him. Typical questions huh. I said God didn't make humans as robots who are programmed to do this and that and could not do otherwise. I believe that God didn't make the exact line that we MUST go through and there's nothing we can do to change it. I believe that humans are given a free will, a will to do anything that they wanna do, and God wouldn't interfere unless there's a special case. You were given a free will to not go through what you are going through now. You had the chance to analyze what you were going into, but if you didn't and you got stuck in this situation than it's not God's fault nor will God just interfere and make things just absolutely 180* different. If a person wants to steal then he can steal, or lie then he's enabled to lie or believe in one thing then he's allowed to believe that, but God has made the 'manual' that a humans must follow in order for us to have a good life and a life that glorifies God's name. But God won't make you have to follow that 'manual', it's up to you. I made a parrable on this matter, I don't know how I even got this but I think God gave me the wisdom then to say it to her. I said imagine that you are hungry and thirsty and God said ok then, go buy some sugar, milk and a loaf of bread and here's the money. Maybe because of somethings or another you weren't paying too much attention. You went to the market but before you find the things that God asked for, you stumbled upon some ripe fruits that looks so juicy and delicious. You thought that fruits can also enhance my thirst and make my hunger dissapear. So you bought some of that with the money and ate it. To your surprise you found out that you are still hungry and thirsty. You went back to God to protest. You said why am I still hungry and thirsty. God said you are the one that bought the fruits. I told you to buy some bread, sugar and milk. Bread will make you not hungry anymore, and for milk it makes your thirst go away and also has the nutritions that your body needed, the sugar is the sweet things that you can add to other things, to milk to make it sweeter also to bread. This in turn will fulfill her needs and make her satisfied. That's how it is with this relationship problem. God knew that she was in need of a partner in life, and told her that the thing she needed was THIS and gave her the power, knowledge and everything she needed to find and fulfill her need. God knows what's best for us. But maybe cause she wasn't paying too much attention or maybe just she doesn't wanna listen or maybe cause she doesn't want to look deeply in her heart for God's message, that she stumbled upon THAT. She thought THAT is good and at the moment it was the best she could find. She takes it and enjoyed it, but problems came and she's complaining that God is not on her side and let her go through tough times. God will only say that I have given the best for you but you will not seek for what I have asked of you so you get second best. With THIS you're suppose to be happy, and with THAT you're not so happy. With THIS you glorify My Name and with THAT you don't, but you have chosen your way and there are gonna be consequences untill you chose to follow my order. I will not make you to follow them but I'll let you decide. This doesn't mean that once we're in the wrong God doesn't want to know. He will forgive us of our mistakes and even make better things happen for us. Because God works in every way, good or bad ones, to bring out the best to those who believes in Him and loves Him. But there are going to be consequences to every actions. Be careful in our every way, every actions, every day cause maybe we're making the wrong decisions and we'll have to pay for it. But God is LOVE.|W|P|107708261381130112|W|P|Relationship questions????|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/17/2004 10:20:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Honesty..... Is there still such a word today. I mean real true sincere honesty that one shows to others. In this world today people are just trying to achieve their way without wanting to know the effects it has on other people. We just want to have the best for ourselves. I will think of what's best for me and my future and what I can do to have fun, or more money or higher paid job or even better looking girlfriend, doesn't matter what I have to do to get it, the most important thing is I get it. People will act as if they are innocent when other people are hurting because of their actions and would probably just say, "You know, life is cruel, learn to live with it, get over it". They wouldn't want to know what had happened to the other person, nor the feelings that they have, the sad, anger, betrayal, and more. All they want to know is that I have a destination to go to and I'm a gonna do anything to get to it, no matter what!!!! How about those stupid politicians that "make" their own rule that made it legal for them to have extra income, car, health benefits, vacations that are paid for by the government without wanting to know that there are poor dying people who are just trying so hard to get a bite to eat with all of their energy and mind, but those politicians just sit around all day chatting to one another, sleeping during meetings, spending the taxpayers money for their benefit and still want more, cause all that is never enough. When they have to do something wrong, they just have to provide a little extra "bonus" to shut other people's mouth and it won't be heard of, ever. And if it will be heard then the judges in the trial will be newly rich person cause soon they will receive their share of the bonus. What a sick satanic circle. People are just getting so individually sick and there's no cure whatsoever that they can think of. They would only state this condition as LIFE and what ought to be, ought to be there's nothing you can do to change it. Just go with the flow so you wouldn't die going against it. Where is this world going to? HELL I guess, but what if I don't wanna go there. One of the value taught by Jesus is honesty. In Ephesians 4:25-28 it teaches that truth and honesty in all we say and do should characterize those who have been redeemed by Christ. Meaning that if I really am a man who has been reborned by the Holy Spirit then this value of life, honesty and truth is a character that cannot be lost in me. Honesty is not only the best policy in life, it's God's policy for every aspects of our lives. What we say, do, think about, live for. Living with integrity honors and glorifies Him. Am I to glorify Him or glorify me? That's the question you need to answer for yourself|W|P|107698751033728638|W|P|Honesty and Integrity|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/16/2004 08:51:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P| Another day had passed and here comes a new day. These few days had been really sad for me. Well not so much sad as in sad but really annoying week. Can you imagine. This week I had sooooo many things to do at work and it's just soooo confusing and just make me wanna scream. "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH" And because I also have a lot of things to figure out this week. I am elected as the new "whatchamacallit" leader of this Sunday School and I'm preparing for the early meetings before we take the stand. And I was a little nervous cause this is a new thing for me you know. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever make it cause it seems soo difficult, if you think about it. Because some of the people that I have to work and cooperate with are sometimes reaaaaally dificult to predict and some of them lack the sense of responsibility. But thank God for the other ones who are really supportive of me. Not only that but at home I also have a few things that I have to do that really take up my time, and my energy and it's really frustating. And to top it off, Last Saturday is suppose to be a Valentine's day right. And you're suppose to have fun with your girlfriends and everything, right. BUt no no not me, I just had to wait at home for my GF's call cause she's doing this audition (last story) and when she doesn't call yet I called her and went ther to pick her up. It was raining and the mood was really down. When I do find her in the midst of thousands of people and asked her how she did, she just sprang at me and said," Don't ask, I'm really not in the mood right now". I can understand that maybe she's really tired cause she had to stand in line for the registration process from 8 o'clock AM untill 3 PM. The line was really crowded she said and everyone's was just pushing and pushing and the officials and policemen just cannot control the situation at that time, this really got her frustrated. She got angry with the policemen and shouted at them. After that she's allowed to go inside the hall, oh yeah I forgot to say that she was outside before under the sun, but that doesn't mean that it's gonna be comfy in there. She also couldn't go outside once inside to go and get a bite to eat so she hasnt eaten from morning until night. And at last her number was up and she was in front of the jury but took only a couple or maybe less than five minutes and she's out of there and that was at around 8 PM. Imagine you had to wait around 12 hours in "pain and sorrow" and you're only there for less than five minutes??????? I can understand what she was going through afterwards, but before that she didn't say anything but in fact she didn't really welcome me nicely, she just wanted to go home. Actually I have planned to have dinner with her maybe nothing too special cause she was tired and the night was already high, but nooo she just had to say no in a really bad way that I just had to get angry at her. I planned to have a somewhat romantic evening, with what's left of an evening, but she just had to take it that way. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH. Can you imagine what happened. I just had to say nothing so I don't get angry at her all the way to her place. But once at her place I just couldn't stand it and I burst in anger and she was crying all over and said that nobody wants to understand her. Can you imagine that, I just couldn't stand it when she cries. I couldn't see her nor hear her cry, just breaks my heart even if I tried not to but in the end I'll be as soft as snow. At the end of the night we hugged and said sorry. But yesterday at church I learned again that your life will be all sorrow and tiredness and bitter and never will be satisfied with anything. It's true that if I always not satisfied with my life I could never really live as in I could never really enjoy it. But the secret is to give thanks for everything that God has given today. Giving thanks is not difficult actually. Once you understand that you are really not entitled to everything that you have now, and God made it possible for you to have and enjoy it, it won't be so difficult to say give thanks. Just as you would say thankyou if someone gave you a nice bar of chocolate. What about all the bad things that I have to go through in this life, why do I have to feel sad, or mad, or all the sorrow I have to put up in my life. Yesterday I was again reminded that God works through every thing, yup every single things, good or even bad, happy or even sad, laughter or even tears, black or maybe white, everything that I have to go through. He works in a wonderful way to bring out good in me. Yes just as a potter had to brake the deformed vase and make a new ones from the same lump of soil, so does it hurt when I'm deformed by sins and God wants to redo me to bring out the best in me. I'm just a lump of dirt that is worth nothing, but in my Father's loving care I can shine through like sparkling gold. Extreme huh. Thank You Lord for saving my soul, thank You Lord for making me whole. Everything that You've done for me. I give to You all my heart and my life. Use me and mold me to the best that You had in mind, that You have prepared for me. Tuhan inilah hidupku, kuserahkan padaMU Segala cita citaku, masa depanku kan jadi milikMu Jadikan aku terangMu ditengah keg'lapan dunia Membawa bangsa bangsa kepadaMu Tuhan ini kerinduanku BagiMu Tuhan seluruh hidupku Pakailah Tuhan bagi kemuliaanMu Genapi seluruh rencanaMu Sampai bumi penuh kemuliaanMu |W|P|107690166537814954|W|P|Giving Thanks......Oke deh|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/14/2004 08:22:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|VALENTINE, a day that we celebrate as a day of love and caring. It is a wondeful time that have been waited for by all those crazily smitten people out there. A day of fun with the person they love, to think of nothing else but love and love and caring for each other and carressing and looking through their eyes and kissing and laughing and maybe a little bit of those happy tears just in the corner of their eyes. Sounds soooooo wonderful, doesn't it. Probably this is somewhat also my idea of "heaven on earth", the condition that I've been longing to experience. It's not that I don't have a girlfriend already. It's just that today she had to do an audition for the AFI (Akademi Fantasi Indosiar), it's this tv show in Indonesia similar to the American Idol where people are singing and the viewers can vote for them for about 3 months until one contestant is declared the winner. You know those tv shows that promote popularity and such. Well she's there today having an audition. It's funny though cause she's just doing this cause she wants to know how she stands in the Surabaya's singing community. You know, to test herself. Because she's planning that if she made it through, which I think she could, she'd just pass cause she hasn't the time to do such things cause she's still studying in interior designs and that she wouldn't have enough money to spend to be able to go to Jakarta or at least a little shopping money. And she said she has never had such spirit to study than this semester, cause in the semesters before she wasn't to keen on her college, but after experiencing so much she's beginning to love interior designing and she's so hyped about it this semester. Well I support her as well as I possibly could through everything she believes in and everything she enjoys. But for this one, I feel sooo disappointed because she wants to drop it if she get through, while ssoooo many people tried so hard to just get in. I believe that if she put her heart to it and her voice of course, she would pass cause from what I can see on tv, the contestants from the earlier edition are not so good. Well they are good but I believe that Vanny, that's my girlfriend's name, are just as good or maybe even better than them. And now she's spending her Valentine's day auditioning and I'm in the office working and I wouldn't see her until maybe night time, and she's only doing it just for fun. What a waste. She could just prepare herself for a little romantic candlelight dinner maybe or maybe just prepare something special for me as she usually would. But no, today had to be the day she isn't doing all that. But I'm not dissapointed after all Van. I want to support you and try to understand what you're going through, what you're trying to accomplish, I even have dreams higher than yours for you. Well honey this Valentine's day I will wait for you until you are through with everything that you have to do and still be there for you. We could still have a wonderful night together, even if it means a short wonderful night together. Hahahaha. I love you. Happy Valentine's day dear.|W|P|107672369073121873|W|P|Valentine.......oooohhh valentineeee...|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/13/2004 09:11:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Akbar Tanjung, a Golkar (Labor Party) politician in Indonesia is set free from the charges of corrupting Rp 40 billion. Is it because he is the chairman of the Parliament or an ex-minister of the Soeharto era or even because he is the leader of Golkar , or has he made further undetected corruption by bribing to get his way off from the guilty verdict of Mahkamah Agung? Indonesia is degrading in morality. There’s no more proudness to be an Indonesian nowadays. I remember once when I had the chance to visit Sydney, Australia for a few years, I was so proud to be an Indonesian that I tell everyone about how wonderful my country is, the people are so caring to each other. They always help one another, an action we usually call gotong royong, even though they do not know them well. We always respect one another but now but all just a memory. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be an Indonesian because everything and I mean everything in the Indonesian system has been polluted by money. Just as the Lord had said that money is the root of evil. And the worst thing is that everyone just thinks of it as an everyday thing that we shouldn’t worry about too much. A lot of people think of me as a hypocrite for not going with the flow of this “trend”. They say what’s wrong with just paying a little money so that all your problems get fixed fast, for the better of everything. They said just think of it as helping others. Helping ……???????? C’mon how is that helping anything than to make Indonesia more corrupt. This situation is really putting a dark cloud over Indonesia as a country. Indonesia is now known as one of the most corrupt country in the world. Is that a wrong judgment? What can I do for my country? I pray for you Indonesia so your leaders can grow a heart and repent from all their doing and not fool the people anymore with all of their selfishness just so they can get more income and other things not to think about other people’s suffering as a result of their doing. Why can’t you all learn to think about the weak and the poor which you suppose to represent instead of just your stomach to feed Lord please help me to keep my belief to follow You in this ravaging world. Teach me to be an example towards all my friends and my society and community and please Lord, forgive our leaders so that Indonesia can be a country that makes You please. Thank you Lord. |W|P|107668203671768056|W|P|WHAT A SHAME.......|W|P|hendra@gmail.com2/13/2004 11:31:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Hi World, a new blog reborn What a wonderful day it is to tell you all that this is gonna be the beginning of a wonderful times together. We've been told and taught by our parents and teachers that whenever we ask God for something through prayer, His answer may be yes, no or even wait. We're told that even no is an answer though obviously not the answer we've been waiting for or would like to hear. Paul had experienced this also. He prayed to God that He will take out the thorn in the flesh. The thorn had weakened him so much that he just needed and prayed for God to just take it out of his system and free him of such mysery. Paul wanted to be strong in his ministry and asked God for deliverance. God answered his prayer, a NO. But God said to Paul,"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness". And the all-sufficient strength of Christ became Paul's new boast. We too at times are suffering from such 'thorns', may it be disease or even lack of morality that makes us weak and insensitive to God. Let's pray that God will help us get through our thorns that we may minister in perfect conditions that God wants us to be in. Even if God doesn't take it out be sure to know that He will always be there to guide us and that all of our problems are not bigger than life and that God will lead us to a way out. Praise the Lord|W|P|107664757068813978|W|P||W|P|hendra@gmail.com