Woi kok beneran sepi semua yah. Tak ada kata, tak ada canda, tak ada tawa. Ada apa dengan kita semua? Semakin lama semakin sibuk semua bahkan untuk sekedar say hi. Uuuh sometimes I kinda miss everyone so much cause I guess sometimes I just feel really alone in this world, you know. No one to talk to, no one to care about, no one to be advised and to take advice from. These few days I've been really depressed, dunno why but i just do. Everything I said above is what i really truly exactly feel right now. I only feel that my only "friends" are those people whom their blogs I read (viceversa) and sometimes these people are really nice. I chatted with some of them and asked them lots of things especially newthings that interest me. They're really cool people who don't hesitate to help me. Some even out of nowhere just sent me emails about the things we talked about. I was kinda surprised I thought these internet creeps just doesn't care about anyone just themselves. I guess I was wrong. The people that I met in real life on the other hand is taking suspicions on me. Many talked behind my back. Some are cooperative and supportive but most of them I dont meet everyday. Is it just me, I wonder? Have I changed so much that they starting to hate me? What have I done to deserve such treatments? I dunno the answer. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without me here and maybe if I were to not to come to this place in the first place, would things be any better. If I havent met all these people that I know now would my life be "better"? Makes you wonder doesn't it. Guys, sorry to take up your time to make you all read my writing. i just sometimes dont know where to turn to except just write on my computer, scribble all my thoughts all my cries for help, I send it to you so that I know at least someone else read it, not just me. Oh yeah before I forgot Happy Easter everybody, but really i dont feel at all happy today. Lots of things on my mind that just wont let me stop thinking. I cant rest so I just went to the internet rental store and just entertain myself by doing this and reading something interesting. OK once again sorry all for my mistake if I ever did it to anyone of you that I may have forgotten about.Especially if that makes anyone not want to keep in contact with me anymore. But that's understandable. Dont worry.

FROM SQUARE ONE

4/10/2004 12:12:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|1. I hurt: my feet this weeks 2. I love: to love and to eat 3. I hate: hipocrites 4. I cry: when I was a small boy 5. I fear: creepy crawlers as in snakes 6. I hope: to achieve all my dreams 7. I sadden: when people don't care about me 8. I feel alone: when I'm left alone 9. I kill: mosquitoes 10. I talk: to strangers (naughty me) 11. I listen: boyz II men and beyonce 12. I break: your head if u don't be nice to me 13. I see: my computer typing this post 14. I smell: pizza..ini baru hoki 15. I taste: delicious food coming my way 16. I work: on my computer designing shoes 17. I remember: nothing at all.... 18. I hold: the mouse 19. I hide: when I want to hide 20. I pray: everyday lah what do you think 21. I walk: the Hall of fame 22. I drive: a crappy motorcycle 23. I read: sometimes 24. I burn: your house if u not nice to me 25. I breathe: fresh air 26. I play: basketball 27. I miss: your face but will hit it again later if u not nice to me 28. I touch: the keyboard 29: I learn: to make a better looking blog 30. I feel: good about myself today 31. I know: that I'm gonna make good one day and go to heaven 32. I said: "so what do you think, babe?" 33. I dream: to be like mike 34. I have: to go now 35. I want: to eat, I'm starving 36. I fall: in love with a girl now and then (nah..joking) 37. I wait: for you to comment on this post 38. I need: money..badly 39. I live: my life for you 40. I die: when I'm 94 years old on 2072 - What do you think - |W|P|108157491919462775|W|P|I do|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/10/2004 10:32:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Oh yes tommorow is Easter day. happy easter day to everybody who's celebrating it and may God bless you all. - What do you think - |W|P|108156873257195433|W|P|Happy Easter|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/08/2004 09:32:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|I just came back from church and just stepped into this internet rental store. I just watched the movie "The Passion of the Christ". Wow, it was amazing. I was kinda shock with all this. I mean I know from other people's story and of course also from some movie reviews that I've read about it. Many people said that they cried all through the movie, and I thought "yeah, really...that amazing". But when I saw it, I have to admit it's amazing. I didn't cry or anything, it's just that I was shocked and it took my breath away. The movie made me kinda stop breathing for a while. All this time I would just think of the crucifixion as an event that was just like that and that it had happened so many years ago and that maybe don't have to connect much with me. I mean it was always as a story that was told for centuries and every year we would just reflect on it, but maybe we just don't know what to reflect, cause all these times we were just so busy doing "our stuffs" and that because it was time to go to church on Good Friday and Easter that we do it. But do we really know the truth and do we really understand what the story is all about? I find it kinda difficult to understand sometimes, or just maybe I wasn't concentrating too much, that it just sometimes seems like some ordinary day for me and after the mass is over then maybe I just get back to the things that I do. I mean all these time I would probably think of this and maybe knew the facts but just couldn't picture it in my mind. maybe all these time I would picture it as Jesus who was hung on the cross, but maybe His body is still clean of bruises just like the pictures on the typical wall calendars. But tonight I knew exactly how Jesus felt. i just couldn't stand all the beatings that He took, all the mockery that he had to stand up against. I mean He is God but He just refuse to show all His Almighty powers to punish all those people. The satan tried to make Him turn away and not die on the cross to redeem all mankind. He could've listened to satan and avoid all those sufferings that He had to go through. He was 100% man and He felt all those pain just like any other man would feel it. I can't imagine all the pain if I had to go through all that. I'd just rather die and give up on everything maybe than go through all that. Scary. But thank God Jesus didn't back down and chickened out. Cause if Jesus did just that, then we're all just some walking corpse waiting to surely die cause it's just a matter of time and after that....destination:Hell. I had to hold my breath everytime He took a beating especially after they used the metal-studed slash. I could just see all the skin and the flesh that was torn out of His body. You might not even call it a body anymore. It's worse than how you would treat a very filthy animal. such treatment is just not worthy for a man. When the thorn went inside his head, all the blood that He had to shed, the look on His crushed and deformed face. All that just to save me who just about sinned every single day. A Lord Almighty so Holy and powerful denied all that He has and received such treatments. Awesome Jesus. Now maybe every time that I wanna pray or maybe commit a sin, I might just be remembered again by this vision, so that i don't play around with all His grace for me and that I should take it more seriously even more. A friend of mine took her friend that is a non believer to watch the movie today. By the look on his face I could tell that he's also shocked, but i don't know how he felt (really, honestly felt ). Many people from believers and unbelievers turn to God after watching the movie, some just think about it as some stupid movie, others just couldn't care less, but I know that God is working wonders through it and may more and more get the understanding. If you have already understood, consider yourself lucky, and as for those who are yet still to understand and believe, don't worry God is still working on you. Thank you Lord that I may know the truth and please help me as to tell all people about such grace that Thou hath provided through Your son, Jesus Christ. - What do you think - |W|P|108143915678110166|W|P|Just watched it....Amazing grace...|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/08/2004 08:20:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|Tommorrow we will celebrate Good Friday, "The day that GOD died". Is God really dead? What does God's death had to do with us? What does it make us? Why should we care? Let us reflect on these questions. On April 8, 1966, the cover of Time magazine asked in bold black letters, “Is God Dead?” The lead story described the work of several theologians who no longer held to traditional concepts of God. They were alike in concluding that the God of our fathers had not survived the dawn of evolution and birth control. The debate that followed wasn’t as much about God as it was about us. We were in the middle of a turbulent decade. Our world was changing. An unpopular war in Vietnam was prompting bumper stickers that said, “Question Authority.” Science and technology were improving our lives and making us less aware of our need for a supernatural God. Other reasons to believe God is dead. Challenges to the traditional view of God multiplied in the decades that followed. Not all were secular. Consumer fraud in religious broadcasting subjected the God of the Bible to public ridicule. Promises of “blessings for dollars” associated the name of Christ with “get rich quick” or “get thin fast” scams. Most recently, evidence of clergy abuse surfaced in the public media. With these reports came stories of victims, who, because of their abuse, no longer considered the God of the church a live option. Those enlightened by science or disillusioned by religious leaders, however, are not the only ones talking about the death of God. The Bible also talks about the death of God. The God of the Bible was so deeply moved by the harm people do to one another that He actually died because of it. At a moment in time, the eternal God closed His eyes and stopped breathing. Under the weight of wrongs that had hurt those who were dear to Him, His body fell limp and lifeless. At that moment God was dead—not just in the perception of others, but in real time and in an actual place. In making this claim, the Bible goes far beyond the cover and pages of Time magazine. Instead of asking, “Is God Dead?” the theology of the Bible leaves us with a mystery that is beyond human comprehension (1 Timothy 3:16). The Second Person of a three-in-one God became a real man to die a real death for us (Philippians 2:5-11; John 1:1-3,14). As this unparalleled drama unfolds, physical death was not our God’s greatest sacrifice. Even before breathing His final breath on a Roman cross, He endured the hellish darkness of spiritual separation from His Father in heaven. As the skies darkened in the middle of the day, His anguished cry echoed through the halls of heaven and history: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46). According to the Bible, our Creator endured such an agonizing death to show us that He is alive and that He loves us. What the death of God tells us about ourselves. Those of us who are inclined to think of ourselves as victims, rather than offenders, might conclude that Christ’s death probably says more about the evil of others than about ourselves. We can always point to someone we think gave us an excuse to respond in an unloving way. We get a different picture, however, when we look more closely into the suffering of Christ. If the Bible is right, He didn’t die just for someone else’s sins. He died for us (Romans 5:8; John 3:16). The pain He endured says volumes about the extreme nature of our own need (Romans 3:10-20). Anyone who wants to be included in Christ’s death must admit that in God’s eyes our own wrongs rise to the level of those who violate federal law with capital offenses. The extent of His sacrifice says that without His intervention we would still be condemned lawbreakers, without hope, and waiting on “death row” for what the Bible calls “the second death” (Revelation 20:14; Romans 6:23). How the death of God can help us find a new life. The Scriptures offer no hope to those who refuse to believe Christ suffered for them. The Bible offers a whole new life, however, to those who believe that Christ lived and died as their substitute. Like persons who enter a witness protection program, those who find refuge in Christ take on a new identity. Their troubled past is hidden in Him (Colossians 3:3). They assume His name. They receive His Spirit and become temples of the living God (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19). Those who allow the Spirit of Christ to be seen in them are an antidote to the opinion that “God Is Dead.” Their happiness and tears become a quiet showcase for the love, and joy, and peace of a God who is alive and reaching out to others through His people. No one does this perfectly. But few things are needed more than imperfect, troubled, grateful people who are growing in their willingness to let Christ live His life through them (Romans 8:11). How can we come to that surrender? We can begin by watching Jesus our Lord move through the Garden of Gethsemane to the center page of human history. On the way He groans, “Nevertheless, not My will but Yours be done.” Then in the middle of a howling mob, on a hill outside the walls of Jerusalem, He willingly endured the eternal weight of our sin and death—for us. Taken from the writing of Mart De Haan - What do you think - |W|P|108138920920175513|W|P|The Death of God|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/03/2004 08:23:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P| Election is only two more days to go. All the campaigns have stopped. At last the streets are "clean" once again. Even though not clean as in really clean but it's free from all the campaigning party attributes. Since yesterday all the parties had to take out all their flags, brochures, any attributes that are on the streets and leave the people in peace for the next three days. Well it's kinda cool to know that nothing majorly bad and disasterous has happen during the campaigning period. Yes there are stupid people that died from their own stupidity, but what I meant was that there are no gangfight, party against party that caused a major disaster for all of us. But this is only the beginning. What happen on the D-day, 5th April 2004? Will everything be fine? The ballot paper hasn't been distributed to the whole place in Indonesia. Even some small cities that are quite easy to access hasn't received their share of ballot paper yet. What about the more remote places? I wonder if the election could be held exactly on the same day nationally. Hopefully, because if that doesn't happen it could trigger some major clash between the parties or even with the election bureau (KPU). Yeah, hopefully nothing bad is gonna happen, OK. But why do I have the feeling that the people that will make it as a representative (DPR) will not be much different from the former DPR with their attitude that thinks that they're so honorable, with their minds that only thinks what's good for them, even though they have a large wage but still want more and more without thinking about all the small people that can't even eat for one day if they don't work very hard for maybe 12 - 15 hours a day non stop. Why do I get the feeling that the DPR that will rise will be just as corrupt as the former DPR or DPRD. I understand that the people of Indonesia are still narrow minded. They think of making it to the DPR seats as another way of making money or even taking as much money from the country that they "legalize" themselves making it seem to be not corrupted from the country's treasury. You know "take as much as you can while you are here: attitude. Very stupid. They always say that they will represent us and will hear all our aspirations and take it to the council meeting or whatever, but once they have seated in the DPR seat they have forgotten about us all. How low can you get. I mean that's sooo low, but all the Indonesians are just too stupid to understand that they are all have been conned by these stupid, crazy, stinking politicians. They have a very sweet lips when they are campaigning. They say so many nice things and promises so that we will vote for them. but they are all so arrogant once they get their seat. Believe me, if they don't start from themselves, to change themselves then they could never change Indonesia or make it into a more developed country and not the most corrupted country in the world anymore, but again that's not what their perspective is. If this country change for the better then they won't have the chance to take as much money anymore and that's their loss. So believe me that not for another 20 or 30 years that Indonesia will start to change little by little. After all these stupid politicians have gone and maybe die in all their sins and replaced by a newer, hopefully cleanerand younger politicians. So who should we vote for to become our representatives. I can't say, but that's all up to us. Whatever we choose will take effect to the whole country. If we chose wrongly, then it's our loss, but if we choose wisely, not just some stupid party fanatism, then we will surely gain something good from it all. I may have some hope in the people running in the election, just a little hope. Maybe a few people are still to be trusted and they can be trusted but that's just a small number, so please choose these small number so that we can live a better life in Indonesia. As for president. Never choose those stupid people that have already been president cause they have shown that they can't run a country. Please choose wisely everyone. This is for the sake of yourself, your neighbourhood, your community, your future, your children's future, the future of Indonesia.
Jayalah Indonesia
- What do you think - |W|P|108095928211470815|W|P|2 days to go|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/02/2004 10:24:00 AM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P| Well, guess what everybody, we made up. Yup me and Vanny is alright now. Thanks if anyone has prayed for us. Vanny I love you honey. Entrancing kiss You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla What kind of shoe Soccer Cleats- athletic, determined, and strong,
you are probably good at anything you try. you
can be serious but love having a good time
above all. you love sports and when you aren't
on the feild you love hanging out and having
fun with your team-mates.[please vote! thank
you! :)]

What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla what do you truly desire Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about
most.

PLEASE RATE

What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
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- What do you think - |W|P|108087659821646098|W|P|Yes Thank you Lord|W|P|hendra@gmail.com4/01/2004 01:02:00 PM|W|P|klomprangkentang|W|P|I had a fight with Vanny yesterday. I don't know why. But things hasn't been ok yet. We are both still hurt, maybe. I don't even know what happen. I mean, I didn't even mean to do anything that could upset her, but she was upset and the whole thing turned into one big disaster. Yesterday I promised to help her with her graphic assignments. I was to go to her place late i the afternoon coz she was also having lots of things to do, like typing her other assignments and having singing practice for Easter day. I don't know why but I guess I just didn't have the best of day, yesterday. I wasn't a bad day, but I wasn't feeling in the mood. I was so not in the mood for anything. And to make it worse, my glasses broke just the other day and I haven't repaired it yet, so I'm practically blind. I can see people but very blurry. It makes everything so uncomfortable because then I have to close my eyes (how do you say it) to focus so that I can see something clearer. So maybe that made my face looked kinda sad, angry and not in the mood. You know, the Danger Look. When I got to her house she was still asleep and I had to wait for her. I was getting a little annoyed because she said that it was important but she slept. But I get myself thinking maybe she's just too tired. But maybe my face hasn't changed too much, without me knowing. So I was contaging her with that look because after that she had nearly the same look on her face. Nothing was said. Not so many things were rhere to be said. I was just not in the mood. After we went to the rentals to work on her assignment, she didn't bring all her files, such as pictures and logo so I was furious. I said how can we work without all that. So we stop early. Wedidn't really get to do anything done. All the way back to her house still silence and not many words were spoken. Actually she was very happy that day she said, and she wanted me to be happy to. So she kinda "mademe" be happy but I wasn't in the mood. Maybe she felt alone, and after we got home, she started to cry. I hate it when there's a problem, the other party has to cry because nothing can be accomplished with all that crying. I'd like to just talk it over. What the problems are and solve it. That's more like problem solving to me. But no, she just had to cry it all as if to telll everybody in her house that we were fighting. I wasn't liking the situation. I felt cornered and had to just leave the whole situation except she can stop crying and start behaving like adults and talk about it. So I just went outside and just wanted to get away. But she stopped me and grabbed onto my motorcycle making me unable to exit her gates. I was angry and just left the motorcycle and just walked out of the house. I mean she was crying louder than before and I just can't hold my cool anymore. We got into a fight and maybe the whole neighbourhood heard us. How embarrassing could that be. But I started to slow down and try to control my anger and start to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. It took us quite long to actually talk without anymore tears and cries. And we talked it over and I thought it was over. But when I went back home I guess I still think about it and maybe still angry at the way she handled the whole thing and humiliated in front of the whole neighbourhood. This morning she called my office and she was also not feeling relieved after yesterday. But she was still making it like it's my fault. So it made me got angry again on the phone, yep at the office. Until now I haven't called her again. Oh Lord, please help me. I love her and don't want to fight with her. Help me please. - What do you think - |W|P|108080205748908721|W|P|Cruel World|W|P|hendra@gmail.com